Self inflicted quarantine

I know everyone is tired of hearing about the Piggy Flu (or H1N1 as they're affectionately calling it now) but as tired as I am of hearing about it I find my self wasting precious memory space on my TiVo to record every single nugget of info that floats thru the airwaves! It's driving me crazy, literally... I spent all day talking myself out, then in and then out of taking my son to McDonalds for lunch. I reeeaaallly needed to get out of the house but more than that, I really needed for him to get out of the house! It's been days since we've had an outing. As soon as I heard how schools in surrounding counties were closing and that sporting events were being canceled something in my brain clicked and I started behaving like the plague had struck and that my next step was to stock up on vaccines from the black market. But anyway, I decided that I didn't want to risk my son's life by feeding him a chicken McNugget happymeal or allowing him to play in a contaminated play place no matter how bored he was. I called a friend to vent and for some reason she thought I was crazy...okay so maybe it's not that bad and it is indeed safe to leave the house but other than a stomach virus and pregnancy, I've had no other major illnesses so excuse me if I'm a little scared (or extremely paranoid). I just want this all to end so I can put away "psycho mom" and go back to normal.

So antibiotics cure "fat", huh?

Now I know I'm a lil chunky but I also know that I ain't that bad...but I guess my quack of a doctor thinks so. I've been having this really bad heartburn/acid reflux for a few years now but every time I go to the doctor, he just prescribes another type of pill but not before telling me that I'm a hippo and I need to watch what I shove in my mouth. Well maybe not in those exact words but he tells me that I need to go on a diet and "modify" my food intake, but somewhere between his mouth and my ears it kinda jumbles together and sounds alot like HEY FATTY, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE FAT? HUH FATTY? I guess doctors must be trained to instantly spot the extra calories accumulating on a patients body...anyway, So after a particularly bad bout of heartburn, not being able to eat much of anything for a few days and consequently losing a few pounds, I schedule an appointment. The whole time I'm thinking, if he tells me to watch what I eat this time I'm going to sit on him! Well he didn't, at least not right away. He orders a couple of labs and then he comes back and says:

"We'll have your results in a couple of days but I don't know that there's anything else I can give you. You know sometimes being overweight will do these things."

What?! I'm not even going to get into what I really wanted to say to him, I'll just move on to part two of this whole debacle. Two days pass and I go to my follow up appointment and lo and behold they find evidence of H. Pylori (a bacteria in the stomach that sometimes breaks through the lining and sometimes causes ulcers and hmm...EXTREME HEARTBURN!). So he prescribes me a course of antibiotics and I kid you not, it's only day 4 of 10 and guess what? Yep that's right no heartburn what so ever; gone! When I go in for my follow up I'm gonna mention to him how those antibiotics really worked wonders on my fat...

Reflections of fabulosity

Fabulous. That's what I labeled myself when I was at the height of "the good years". I don't know what made me think that I could be married with children and still be "fabulous" but hey motherhood is on a whole new level now a days right? I couldn't have been more delusional, huh? I had no idea that I was going to be living a completely different life, that my single friends, my BFFs, were going to disappear one by one because my new life is "boring". To make matters worse, I sometimes find my married friends boring because you know... I'm still fabulous. Not anymore I guess.

I don't want to sound superficial, I really do love children but as much as I love kids, once I had a child of my own I do not want to be around a bunch of other peoples kids! No play groups, M.O.P.S. groups, none of that. Is that wrong? I kinda want an escape from what I do everyday all day. I don't want my "me time" to consist of sitting around talking about my child or anyone else's either. The sad part is, I think that's what my old friends think about hanging out with me. When it comes to other mothers I think that makes me sound cold or insensitive, I'm really not, it's just that I used to have so much of a social life and I really miss it. It's like I'm in housewife Limbo or something. Is this something that all stay at home moms go through at some point or another? It's been 3 1/2 years and now I'm REALLY feeling it. On the weekends I'm doing things that I never would have considered fun or exciting, it's still rewarding because it's with my family but it's not my idea of a social life at all. So here I am, drifting away from my "still fabulous" friends but not domesticated enough for some of my new ones. I feel like I've lost my identity...

Here I Am!!!

First things first, allow me to introduce myself. I'm a 20 something loving wife (although sometimes my hubby and I behave more like "frienemies"), a stay at home mom to a 3 year old miniature heathen/monster...I mean precious angleboy and I'm LOVING every second of it! Umm, not so much.
Instead of being "nice", can I be real for a moment? Cool, thanks. I love my husband and son but if you're an average mom, at some point you realize that this housewife/mommy circus just ain't what you thought it would be.

Back in my single days, I was a fabulous, fun, fearless female and I was having a blast just living! After feeling like I had "done it all", I got married and soon after I did what most girls in a newlywed daze do, I had a baby. It wasn't until then that I realized what a hot mess I really am! There I was, thinking that I had lived my life to the fullest and the only thing that I hadn't done was settle down and start a family. Little did I know that at times I would feel like I was mourning the death of "the old me" and more often than not you could find me hiding in my closet wondering "what happened to my life?!"

Seriously if you're a "homemaker" then you know that ever day is a constant struggle to hold on to your sanity but then you find yourself saying "you've got to be insane to sign up for this!" While taking care of your family and being the best you to them that you can be, how do you find the energy to "do you"? Well join me in my attempt to clean up this mess that is ME. Suggestions (or clinical recommendations) welcome